To Facebook or not to facebook

About a month ago, I mentioned Facebook and MySpace in a message, not really snotty but maybe I was a little schnarky. I was saying how often we try to find approval, self esteem, even our place in this world through these shrines to self. Kind of like writing a blog, as if someone would really care what we have to say...hey wait a minute :). I took the plunge just for the heck of it and have actually found Facebook to be pretty cool, mostly in becoming reacquainted with folks from college, high school and even middle school. What is really weird is how old my contemporaries look. You see I remember them from who they were twenty or thirty years ago, it's hard to imagine them balding, heavier, grey and wrinkly. After all I look exactly the same as when I was 20 except for the balding, extra weight, greying and wrinklingthat seems to be taking place.

So, for me, Facebook is not a shrine to me, but rather a connection, a connection to people who were important to me at one time. I now realize that they are still important to me. But because of human limitations, I have moved on without keeping in contact with these people. The wonders of creative technology have opened a door bringing the past to the present and for this I am grateful.

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Trophy Kids

I'm on my fifth kid, three of my own and two nephews. The youngest is 8 and the pressure is off. What a difference between my 8 year old nephew and my 24 year old daughter when she was his age. I know that when my daughter was little there was pressure for her to perform, whether it be in sports, academics, dance or popularity. Part of it was because of who she is, part of it was the society but a lot of it was because of who we expected her to be or who we expected her to become. Now, high expectations are not necessarily a bad thing if they encourage and help a kid to become all that is possible for them. But I know that too often I was pushing her because I felt it was a reflection on how good a parent I was.

Parenting, the ultimate sport; after all, we are competing with all those other parents out there to see who is the best. And if we do a really "good job" our kids will continue to push themselves even when we aren't there to "motivate" them. It seems to me that today it is even worse, kids are sometimes trophies for parents to display as an example of their parenting prowess. Are you competing in the parenting games, training one of yours to be a future medal winner? Before we answer too quickly, let's ask ourselves a few questions.

Do I find myself saying, "my son/daughter is better than him/her why are they ahead of him/her? Do I worry about what people will think of me if my child fails (if you just said to yourself, 'my child doesn't fail', you are definitely headed toward the games if not already training)? Do I find myself running my kids all over the place, spending tons of money on extra curricular activities that will give them "the edge" over their peers? There are bunch of other questions you might ask, in fact why not include them in a post following these remarks.

Certainly, our kids are extremely important too us, we love them tremendously, but we need to let them also enjoy life. Let them be kids, we should encourage them, but how much pressure should we put them under to always be the best? Maybe a better way for them to be happy and we as parents to be content is to encourage them to do "their" best and then be satisfied with that accomplishment.
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Asking for help

It seems to me that when we place most of our hope in another person we have begun to lose our way. First off, for the believer, our hope primarily should be in the Lord of Creation not in some political or religious leader. Within ourselves there is also reason for hope, you and I have the capability of making great things happen in our own environments and even on a grander scale. God has created you in His image, an image that is brimming with creativity, inteligence, wisdom, humor and problem solving expertise.

My father grew up in deep poverty in Southern Illinois, his father died when he was a small child, so his mom raised his sister Garnet and he without any federal support and little help from anyone else other than family. I think it was because of this upbringing that my dad taught himself how to fix things. I don't ever remember as a kid my dad calling a plumber, electrician or anyone else to come in and repair anything. A few years before his death I helped him replace the roof on his home. Why hire someone, it's not rocket science, we'll do it ourselves and we did. It's a great memory that still lives in my mind, those hours we spent together hauling and hammering. Some may say that it was because he was cheap, maybe so but I think it had more to do with that old self reliant spirit that drove him throughout his life.

I am so grateful for a father who nurtured that "do it yourself "mentality in me, but I've also found over the years that is also ok to ask for a little help when we're not sure how to proceed with a project. Often I will call someone just to get a little advice when I'm stuck; that call usually produces positive results. We can also call on God when we need a little help, actually we can call on Him anytime!

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